Tuesday, September 9, 2008

My Favorite Ways to WASTE Gas?

With all these hymiling and gas saving techniques in a world dependent on gasoline and it prices; I figured I would take the road less traveled. So if your super rich like me and you want your eco-foot print to be as large as possible here are a few way to waste gas.

Drive It Like You Stole It – There is nothing like racing the car next to you from stoplight to stoplight. Why accelerate slowly and save gas when you can punch it and blow the doors off of Grandma’s Cadillac? I’m a take no prisoners’ sort of guy….it makes no difference your gender, age, skin color. If you pull up next to me….it’s so on! If I get a ticket then so what, who doesn’t love Traffic School?

Chilling Like A Villain – When it’s time to grab a bite to eat; I look for the longest line drive-thru line I can find. Nothing is cooler than sitting with your car in idle getting 0 MPG. I also like to sit in front of my kid’s school with the car running for 30 minutes letting that precious gas be burned right up because I can!

Speed is Sexy – Driving the speed limit is for whimps! What really revs up the female libido is driving at a high rate of speed in the most un-aerodynamic vehicle possible. The drag coefficient of a car refers to its aerodynamic efficiency. While the Honda Insight cuts through air like a hot knife through butter; I prefer to drive my huge Hummer which is more like a giant lead brick with a parachute attached. And the faster I drive my Hummer, the worse my gas mileage becomes….but chic’s don’t care about MPG!

Cruising for a Bruising – Yeah many people have cut back on the summer road trips and car club cruises. But all this talk about saving gas only makes me want to get out there and see what’s what. Oh yeah and waste as much gas as possible.

Get Your Roll On – In an earlier post I talked a little bit about low-rolling resistance tires and how these can improve your gas mileage. Well partner….I go for the stickiest tires out there. Sure they lower your MPG; but the thrill of being able to pull 4g’s around a corner far outweighs the savings at the pump!

Cars Can’t Drive – People out there are way too willing to put their lives in the hands of their car. What I mean by this; is using the cruise control does save on gas; but is your life worth saving some cash here and there. I know people who have set their cruise control only to have the car decide it wants to drive 135 MPH! Never trust a foreign automobile!

I Got Premium Gas – My car needs a high octane fuel because it’s Italian. But you too can look cool if your use a higher octane even though your car will run fine and get great gas mileage on 87. Feel free to close your eyes, pay for the premium stuff and dream like you are filling up your Porsche.


Run It Into The Ground – I like to treat my car like an opponent in the Octagon. I work it over until it finally breaks. Why should I change the oil or air filter. I’m not cutting my car any slack by keeping up on the maintenance. No way! I want my car to be tough so I teach it the school of hard knocks.

One Good Trip Deserves Another – Most people run all their errands at once in order to cut down on trips to the store and ultimately save gas. Not me…no way. I love to make 10 trips a day. Out of sugar? Don’t ask the neighbors…I’ll run to the market!

Source: http://www.edmunds.com/reviews/list/top10/129989/article.html

2 comments:

reciprocalmanager said...

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Joepeter David said...

interesting read and keep up the good work.

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